Do you really love me?

I wonder for the past few months I felt like all was against me. Struggling with finances, having hard time with my brother, getting impatient in waiting, feeling depress and lonely, and all of these made me think Does someone really loved me at all? I know it sound cliche and all but come to think of it we all do come in our season when we ask our selves "does someone really love me?"

A few hours earlier I was getting ready for a meeting with my "brother from another mother" so my friend says, in Greenhills. I was in the road on my way to our meeting when I started feeling sad and lonely. Out of nowhere I saw this vandal on a pedestrian over pass that strangely made me stare at it. The vandal was written MALACHI, honestly I know I saw this word before but just cant remember when suddenly I recall seeing it in a book. so out of my curiosity I checked it in my bible, the first book I reached out in my bag. And after few minutes of looking for it yeah it was there and these verse made me dumbfounded when I read,

Malachi 1:2 (New International Version)

² "I have loved you," says the LORD.

honestly made me laugh a little but I'm pretty sure it was God answering my question that time. Does He really love me? I know for sure this line completely answer the question but why does someone or God for that matter love me or us. This verse answer it wisely,

Genesis 1:26 (New International Version)

²⁶ Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness,

I believe no creator will hate what he or she created or done. If you were alive and reading this blog right now and suffering from any kind of trials I'm sure He didn't give you life to suffer, He gave you life to learn and love, so like me seeking the answer I've been searching for a long time and once again researching it. I truly believe and know that God as He said it "I have loved you" and tonight I can sleep with a smile in my heart that the one who gave me life loves me so.

1 John 4:19 (New International Version)

¹⁹We love because he first loved us.

Season of Pruning

Just now I was listening while my mom is watching a program in our television set.

But before I continue this story I like to tell you something first, the past few days I've been struggling of many things. One of this is being depress of being jobless for the past few months already. I was sack off from my previous employer without any reason but I know why I was sack off, and I wont mention it though for the record. I respect what why my boss did that and I'm learning a lot from that event. And now after finishing a renovation project I'm living on the blessing that God gave me from it. stretching out the budget is very hard to do. and since I don't want to ask favor for my parents, although they are giving me without me asking and I'm grateful for it, stretching out now the blessing is getting pretty hard as I mentioned. I've been meditating on what God is planning on me and my career and He is being clear that pruning, discipline and patience is what I need for now.

Going back to the story, I heard a mom in what my mom watching "it is God who gave and only Him has the right to take it away" I was dumb stunned in what I heard. I've been asking Him and complaining why is this things happening, to the point I'm getting depress and anxiety is draining me. Now I'm starting to understand, it is not for us to ask His judgement He just do it, and we as His people have the role to understand why He did it and learn from it. Ask it said "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" to be honest I'm being complacent on what God has been doing in my life and forgetting to bow down at His presence and having reverence in His existence in my life that I'm now focusing on what wrong instead of focusing in who is present and always be here for me. He gave and take away, and whatever happens he ask only one thing, to Trust the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. Proverbs 3:5-6